I think and important thing to consider is that although our dicussions may have little to do with them, the initial draw to the Fray was Slate articles. So I think we'll have to get our content rolling in order to get a following.
My observation is that there has been a continued battle for control of BOTF between those who are using it to find community (e.g. Tempo), and those who use it to escape community (e.g. Ender, probably myself). We're all at some point of the spectrum, but I think there have been clusters on both sides.
The way to tell the difference is in what each considers "fouls." Let's say someone posts something anti-Semitic. One group will be mad at that poster for brining down the quality of the forum, while the other group will be mad at those taking offense for rocking the boat.
As far as individualism goes, I don't think it takes a marriage to go against it. Various posters could always be counted on to come to the defense of (or perhaps more appropriately) against other posters.
In any instance, if I'm reading Ender correctly, than he has succeeded in filtering out the type of posters he like least. I don't think he wants Wag the Slate to be a community. I think the vision is that we would post here and read here because we want to -- because we see this as the best available forum for what we have to say. That won't happen overnight.
Like Ender, I don't go online looking for community -- I'm looking for an exchange of ideas. I hope this will be a place where that will happen.