Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Don't ________ me before I've had my coffee.

My answer: Don't tell me I should take the American flag sticker off my truck before I've had my coffee because I declined to read your stupid pamphlet entitled "PROPHESY!".

Seriously, two guys pulled up while I was pumping gas this morning. One yelled out the window, "Could you read this for us?" I looked up, expressed confusion to these English speakers, "You want me to read something for you?" expecting them to clarify that they needed directions or something. But no, the passenger got out of the car, came over and tried handing me a pamphlet with the all caps title "PROPHESY!" on it. I declined the pamphlet saying, "No." In retrospect, I believe a hint of disgust probably showed in my expression.

So the guy walked back to the car, got in, and as they started pulling away he said, "You should take that flag off your truck."

Next thing I know I'm yelling, "FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKERS." Their car stops, and before I know it I'm walking over to them, exchanging epithets with the driver at the top of our lungs. I'm saying something about how I served my country and if they want that sticker off my truck I'd like to see them try and take it off my truck. They guy who said I should take the sticker off is sitting in the passenger seat looking scared, but the driver has exited and is standing there yelling back and cackling about how I have no idea what I'm fucking talking about. I'm thinking to myself, These guys aren't born again apocalyptos, they're conspiracy theorists. I mean, the language alone is enough to disqualify this guy from entrance into heaven. The scene devolves a bit more. He and his buddy are cowards for not volunteering for service, I'm an idiot for calling it the "war on terror" (and he's kinda right, but it was the heat of the molment and I'm sure his idea of the war is just as idiotic). Anyway, I'm starting to realize what an idiot I'm being and the driver is only interested in screaming. I look in the back seat of the car and there's a kid of about 11 or 12. He's watching me. How it ended is a bit of a blur. I think I'd had enough, good sense and fear were entering the picture. As they drove away, and on my way to work I really started to hate myself. I can be really stupid. Especially before I've had my coffee. *

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