No enduring immaterial reality that I effect in ways that are mysterious to me.
I’m a special and unique time-limited offer.
No preparation required.
No greater reward.
No scraping together the price of a stairway to heaven.
No deferment of satisfaction.
No wondering what I did to deserve my misfortune.
No deadly sins, just accidents and misunderstandings.
No suspicion that I’m pissing God off with my every word and act.
All consequences are earthly and earned.
No one had to die for my sins.
No boringly interminable eternity.
Nothing to barter with – the Devil’s not interested.
There’s little chance I’ll be:
- Broken on the Wheel
- Placed in freezing water.
- Dismembered Alive.
- Thrown in Snake Pits.
- Put in pots of boiling oil.
- Forced to eat rats, toads, and snakes.
- Smothered in Fire and Brimstone.
Next up: Why I’m glad there’s no God.
Heaven
Ev'ryone is trying to get to the bar
The name of the bar
The bar is called heaven
Heaven
Heaven is a place
A place where nothing
Nothing ever happens
When this kiss is over it will start again
It will not be any different, it will be exactly the same
It's hard to imagine that nothing at all
Could be so exciting, could be so much fun
Heaven
Heaven is a place
A place where nothing
Nothing ever happens
Talking Heads
5 comments:
Upside - Robert Johnson's infamous deal isn't an option for you.
Downside - Robert Johnson's prodigious [if perhaps ill-gotten] talent will be lost on you.
Bummer.
most of your reasons have little to nothing to do with a soul.
better title would be: why i'm glad i'm not a christian.
I thought you were joking. All the contributors here know you don't have a soul - don't you remember? The flickering torchlight, Ender stepping out of the shadows at the crossroads, werelight dancing 'round the previously unnoticed little horns on his head, the blood oath...
Seven years of high hit counts and blog responses, right? Live it up!
DC:
Oh, uhm, well [clearing throat].
So did I. Of course. Much better deal - I was just trying to make you feel better.
[cough!]
PS - I was trying to find the Lyrics to Heaven by Frasier Chorus, but it's apparently too obscure.
Guess they needed a better negotiator?
Dawn Coyote's final descent.
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