Borat, A Movie Review

Foreign Correspondent Gets It, And Us, Wrong
Borat Sagdiyev's Incompetence Revealed In New Documentary
By switters
Posted Friday, Novemeber 3, at 12:45 PM CST

What a peculiar documentary. And that's saying something because I've seen some pretty peculiar documentaries in my day, not the least of which is God's Ford Park.

But Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan just didn't seem to make any sense whatsoever. There I was in the theater, with my jumbo popcorn, Coke, and Raisinettes, settling in to watch what an investigative journalist, Borat Sagdiyev, full of urine and balsamic vinegar, not to mention an unparalleled and uncompromising optimism and an old world zest for the new world, would make of our bountiful country and her robust, open people.

Alas, he seemed more interested in our celebrities (Pam Lee Jones) than in what it is that makes our nation tick like a ticking time bomb.

Add the fact that his unapologetic anti-Semitism is on public display nearly 24 and 7, and one can't help but wonder if there isn't indeed a vast right wing conspiracy in the media after all, stretching its claws all the way back to the young and innocent country of Kazakhstan. Anti-Semitism is a sentiment best left where it belongs, hidden deep within the bowels of every culture virtually since the dawn of mankind, only to reveal itself when it's historically necessary and socially appropriate, for example, during crucifixions of messiahs, Bubonic Plague outbreaks, stock market crashes, embassy fire bombings, and runs on the bank.

How depressing!

His interview techniques are dubious at best, as is his command of our language, American. If the heart and soul of investigative journalism is to find information pertinent to a story, how can one gather that information when the people from which he or she is gathering that information can't even understand the questions asked in order to gather that information in the first place? I think he might be slightly retarded. And I think we can all agree about the fact that the last thing we need in this day and age of wars and terror is a bunch of retards disseminating the current events for us, no? No!

Don't get me wrong; I have absolutely zero problem with foreigners. But why do they always have to be so swarthy? And hairy? Is it really fair, at the end of the day, when people like Borat end up in documentary think pieces such as Borat looking like ignorant, smelly, clueless halfwits?

Yes, sometimes. But that's not the point. The point is that when foreigners end up looking foreign in documentaries, it sends the wrong message from America to the world, namely, "Today we're all from Texas."

And that, in addition to Jews calling the shots, is the last thing this country needs from its documentaries right now.

I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but Borat Sagdiyev, take the boat, plane, train, donkey cart or whatever back to whatever third-world, backwards rock out from which you crawled up from under of. Your cynical investigative reporting is no longer welcome on these fatal shores, the Birthplace of Democracy. Our beloved Lady Liberty has her hands full as it is, and will brook no refusal when pandering to our own worst nature in all of us.

(Though a mirror in a funhouse tends to add a touch of profound perspective if you look at it just right [and are a little high].)